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Survivors of Ectopic Pregnancy

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My story... [Mar. 24th, 2006|08:08 pm]
Survivors of Ectopic Pregnancy

ectopic_pgncy

[shelator]
[mood |hopefulhopeful]

Here's hopefully not too long an account of my story...
I became pregnant in June 2005, our first baby. I had cramping, slight bleeding and shoulder pain pretty much from two weeks onwards, although when I went to see my GP about it, he put it down to indigestion and the usual twinges some women get in early pregnancy. I didn't realise I had all the classic symptoms of an ectopic pregnancy.

A few days after I saw my GP I had to be rushed to A&E at my local hospital, the pain was immense and the bleeding was getting heavier. Because I went to hospital on a weekend, I had to wait until Monday for them to scan me and diagnose what the problem was!! They wouldn't give me painkillers because I was pregnant. I can't tell you how angry I was.

On Monday morning they took me to have a scan where they saw it was an ectopic pregnancy, it was awful. That afternoon I was taken into theatre where I had my baby and my left fallopian tube removed. The operation apparently should have taken under an hour, but due to 'complications' I was in theatre for four hours. I lost a lot of blood and had breathing difficulties under anaesthetic. Trust me to make things complicated!

A week later they let me go home where I stayed for three weeks before going back to full time work. I discovered the Ectopic Pregnancy Trust (www.ectopic.org) who were fantastic. I had little information or support from the hospital, the the EPT answered all my questions and were there when I needed reassurance. I am now working as a volunteer for them in my spare time.

I'm not over the loss of my baby, I still cry about it, I still miss him, I still grieve. On my would-have-been due date we went to one of our favourite spots on the coast and laid some flowers.

Since Christmas we have been TTC again, but no baby yet :(
It's difficult to comes to terms with because last time it happened without us even having to try all that hard, it was almost instant! Now we have been trying for nearly four months and still nothing. It makes you wonder if it will ever happen! But we have everything (except my legs!!) crossed.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: sakkies
2006-03-24 08:40 pm (UTC)
Hi Shelby. So Sorry about your loss. Your story sounds similar to alot I've heard. I remember thinking to myself while reading "what to expect, when your expecting" that eptopic pregnacies were 3% of women, not something I need to worry about. Boy was I wrong :P On my due date, I said a little prayer and spend most of the day in gloom. I hit my year mark in November and each day it gets better. You still have those moments where all you think about is my child wouldve been X months old. Stay strong and I hope you concieve again soon.
Take Care,
Summer
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[User Picture]From: shelator
2006-04-08 02:56 pm (UTC)
Thanks Summer. I'm sorry to hear of your loss.
It helps when you know that others feel the same emotions and have been through it too.
x
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[User Picture]From: crustyk
2006-03-24 09:10 pm (UTC)
Reading your story I'm gobsmacked and angry that you had to wait a weekend for a scan after been rushed to A&E. That's so irresponsible! I was lucky - I went to the Royal Free in Hampstead, London whereby they had a case file on me this thick and didn't take any chances.

Having had my tube removed I spiralled into despair at the thought of ever getting pregnant again, especially after scaring myself stupid at the 'statistics' bandied around the internet. Despite the odds, I'm now 26 weeks pregnant - my 7th pregnancy in 5 years, one of which resulted in my son, Finn and hopefully this one a healthy baby. It's been a tough ride and I'm not yet ready to breathe a sigh of relief yet.

I'm sorry for the loss of your baby; time doesn't completely eradicate the pain but it does make it easier. In that respect I hope time spins fast for you.
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[User Picture]From: shelator
2006-04-08 02:58 pm (UTC)
Thanks for your words, I'm sorry to hear what you have been through. I hope your pregnancy is going fantastically well, it's always good to hear of the positive stories after ectopics and miscarriages - it gives us all hope!
x
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[User Picture]From: kesmun
2006-03-25 03:49 am (UTC)
I have a similar story to yours in a few ways. You can read about it in the entry immediately previous to yours.

It does get easier. I've been sexually active off and on since my ectopic and haven't been pregnant again. In a way, it's extra hard because 2 of my three sisters and my ex-sister-in-law had babies that are turning 5 this year and my new sister-in-law is pregnant (same brother). It seems like everyone in my family who wants to be parents but me is.

I still miss my (I'm convinced) would-have-been daughter. I still grieve. It's gotten easier.

Babyhopes.com has lots of little helpful things to help boost your chances. One thing you should definitely try is keeping track of your basal body temperature. A digital BBT thermometer can be had for less than $10 at WalMart, and you can find a chart at http://www.babyhopes.com/download/bbtchart.xls (Excel spreadsheet version) or http://www.babyhopes.com/download/bbtchart.pdf (PDF version).
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[User Picture]From: shelator
2006-04-08 03:02 pm (UTC)
Hi, I'm sorry to hear of your loss and it must be especially difficult with siblings having children of their own.

Are you keeping a record of your BBT? Does it help? I have started using Ovulation Detection tests, but I am worried about becoming obsessive over becoming pregnant - something I promised myself I wouldn't become.

Every month we are hopeful, but so far every month no good news.
Maybe this month??
x
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[User Picture]From: kesmun
2006-04-08 05:33 pm (UTC)
Yes, I've kept record of my BBT for about 5 months now. So far, no luck.

As far as being obsessive, to a certain point, I can't help it. I promised myself I wouldn't, too, but I do try to keep the obsessing to a minimum.
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