||[Sep. 27th, 2005|10:10 pm]
Survivors of Ectopic Pregnancy
Following in the steps of luv4peanut and holla_backgirl here are my experiences:|
First time round: After 3 miscarriages and a perfectly normal and healthy pregnancy with my son, I was ecstatic to discover that I was approx. 5 weeks pregnant. My son was 9 months old and we felt that although very close to his birth, we were lucky enough to get to this stage again anyway and the only thing that crossed my mind was whether we may miscarry again. To say that miscarrying previously was devastating is an understatement.
It was late March 2004, and we were staying with my parents in Florida (I live in the UK and frequently travel to Florida - my work is also based there). We discovered I was pregnant while Finn was in the bath. Four days later, whilst explaining that I didn't want to get in the jacuzzi (I was secretly lamenting my loss of jacuzzi time!), I fell over. This is the only way to describe the force of the pain that hit me. One second I was up, the next I was curled in a ball by the pool. My partner Dan shot out of the pool and carried me up to my room.
My explanation to my parents was that I had period pains and would be cool in an hour. My mum was shocked by how white I looked (I'm naturally brown by the way, so this is quite something!). Dan and I, once the pain had subsided (and it did) discussed the possibility of a 4th miscarriage. When I woke up at 4am with fresh blood seeping from me, I guessed that all was not right. Stupidly, and because my parents didn't know (I didn't want to put them through the misery of a 4th miscarriage - I needed to do this alone) I decided to wait until I got back to the UK which was 24 hours away. I had no further pain but saw a nurse on my return who scanned me and confirmed an empty womb. She also explained that the following day - my 32nd birthday - I would require emergency surgery.
Laparoscopy. I'd never heard that word and it mean't nothing to me at the time. Ha! So, after various internal probes - and I know you know what I mean - I was wheeled down to surgery. I woke up on my birthday morning at 5am so I could drink a cup of tea and smell the toast I had pleaded with Dan to make so I could at least smell it! After surgery I was told that the ecoptic was small, the tube had been saved and they were gobsmacked as to how it had happened in the first place. My tubes were clear. Unfortunately I contracted an infection in one of the lap sites (story of my life) and spent another 3 weeks on antibiotics unable to move. Didn't exactly make recovery a picnic ;-)
April 3rd 2005. Almost a year to the day. I had been feeling low for 6 months or so and had checked in with my doctor about taking tests for diabetes, thyroid problems etc. The result of the tests were negative. My doctor put it down to Christmas, relatives staying with me, a busy social life, an energetic toddler and my age (33 FFS!!). She also suggested a pregnancy test. I had experienced "ovulation spotting" for the first time the previous month and mentioned it to her. However, I had also had two extremely normal periods. I did the test. It was positive. I was completely and utterly gobsmacked. I went to the early pregnancy unit (again) that day and was told I needed to be operated on NOW as my tube was in danger of rupture. We could see the pregnancy in my right tube and it was BIG. I was lucky to be asked consent for the removal of a tube (laparoscopally, if possible) which I did - although I wouldn't give consent for anything else - no further reproductive organs. Just as a note - YOU CAN DO THIS. The forms look as if you have no choice but to sign your womb way also if there's an emergency but there are further options. Granted, these options may endanger your life but you must know that you are FREE to make the choice.
Long story short, they removed my right tube.
I don't know about you girls but I'm in limbo. I know how lucky I am to be alive, but - and correct me if I'm wrong - nothing takes away from me the fact that I lost a baby and am trying for another. I thought, first time round - bad luck, but second? I feel like maybe I shouldn't be having another child - maybe this was meant to be. I recognise absolutely how honoured I am to have my son Finn in my life. This doesn't change.
Ack. Anyway, a long story I'm afraid and one I'm sorry you sympathise with. I hope I'm not overstepping the mark by posting such a long winded intro. Any thoughts would be appreciated.